LOST

Lord, I've lost myself somewhere. I've forgotten what brings me joy and that my joy comes from You. Lord build me up, cover me in your armor, let the Evil one have no reign over me. I've been so weak lately...I've been insecure. That is spilling over unto others, it is hurting them...Father please let them forgive me. Father, please forgive me.

I look to the East, I look to the West.

But nowhere do I see me at my best.

I strapped myself in, convinced I was ready for the ride,

then when it got a little scary, my spirit died.

This rollercoaster I'm on, it has twists and turns,

At every single one my heart yearns.

It yearns for for the climb, because that's the easy part,

It weeps at the drop because that is hard on my heart.

So up and down I go, on this giant machine,

Knowing the safetybar is pointless, for it is on God I must lean.

This ride I call a journey, a venture, a walk,

Then at times I question myself, "Am I all talk?"

And who do I bring with me on this ride?

Who is brave enough to sit by my side?

This ride reflects my spirit and on the way up it is high,

However on the way down it is low and I often cry.

At the high times, friends are close and it seems there are many,

However on the way down I look through tear filled eyes and wonder, are there any?

I weep, I scream and I shout,

but I'm fastened tightly in and I cannot get out.

Even if I could,

It is doubtful I would.

Because what joy is the ride and what would I have learned,

if throughout the entire thing my heart hadn't yearned?

Will I stop riding? Yes, someday.

When the conductor returns and all the tears are washed away.

Until the end of this ride however,

I need to learn how to manage the endeavor.

How can my spirit stay high when the ride is low?

How can I shine? How can I glow?

As to please the conductor and bring a smile to His face,

As to be an example of His amazing grace?

I'll keep my eyes on the conductor, I'll keep Him in sight.

As to ride the good ride and fight the good fight.